Sticks in the Wheels & First Results

There are a few spoilers below, so if you haven’t watched Episode 2 yet, you may want to see it first.

The first challenges were complete, and somehow it already felt like we had been filming for weeks. In reality, it had only been a few days. But pressure stretches time in strange ways.

The charcoal challenge was honestly intimidating. I hadn’t really drawn in a while, and the alligator subject I chose… was frustrating. I still don’t know why I picked that particular reference. It didn’t have strong information in it. Reminded me one Russian saying, it was “putting sticks in my wheels.” I made it harder for myself than it needed to be.

But I did my best with it.

What’s interesting is that when I first learned charcoal in the Mastery Program, I didn’t like it at all. It felt messy, uncontrolled. And yet, two years later, I rediscovered it and began using it more often in my own work. Charcoal, for me now, feels far more expressive and alive than graphite ever did. It’s funny how mediums evolve with you.

The bird painting felt more stable. I remember laughing when Elli commented that the angle looked odd. Since I took that photo myself, I knew the angle was correct. But that moment reminded me of something important:

It doesn’t really matter if you know something is accurate. If the viewer feels confused, then something wasn’t communicated clearly enough. If the idea doesn’t read, then the responsibility falls on the artist. Choosing the right source and presenting it clearly is part of the craft.

Those four hours of free time during the challenges felt like a gift. I managed to finish everything before Jake counted down, “3, 2, 1… brushes down.” That moment alone felt like a small victory.

I was proud of the cheetah. The alligator and the bird were good. But not the best I could do, I knew it. But I was proud of the final result because I pushed through. Under that kind of pressure, you see every imperfection, but you don’t always have the luxury of fixing it.

After the first challenge, something subtle began shifting in the house.

We were split into two Airbnbs - six artists in each. And even though everyone was kind and respectful, you could feel a little bit of tension building. It slowly started to feel like “our house” and “the other house.” We found ourselves discussing what the other group might be doing, how they might be performing.

Nothing dramatic was happening. It was never cutthroat. But tension rose just a notch.

What fascinated me most was watching how stress distorts perception. Under pressure, your mind starts creating narratives. And when one person begins spiraling about someone or something, it’s very easy to get pulled into that same spiral.

Reality becomes slightly warped.

And then came the results.

I was genuinely pleased to learn that my acrylic painting won the challenge. It meant a lot - especially after doubting myself so much before stepping into this experience.

Moving into third place overall felt like a surprisingly sweet spot. Being first that early would have felt heavy. Maintaining that position would have added a different kind of pressure. Third felt balanced. Strong, but grounded.

It was a solid beginning.

And still, the season was just getting started.

We were all genuinely surprised that Ellie B was last. She was heartbroken and didn’t really want to talk to anyone. Watching that was hard. Not because of the numbers - but because every single one of us could imagine ourselves in that position.

That’s the strangest part of competitions like this. Someone has to be last - and yet every person in that room is a strong artist. You start imagining what it would feel like if it were you. The thoughts. The doubts. The internal questioning.

It was the first moment when it all felt very real.

Up until then, it still felt like an experience. A challenge. Something exciting.

But in that moment, the unavoidable truth settled in: no matter how much we supported each other, no matter how many friendships existed before the show - only one person would win.

And that was going to be the hardest reality to live with in the coming weeks.